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, Founder and CEO of and a nationall recognized expert on eldercare andfamily "Helping your Dad safely age at home can be the best gift -- and the best Father'd Day gift -- you can give him, once you notice even small changes in his abilitt to get around." "Remember Men are from Mars Men do not ofteb express their feelings freely or at all. So if your fathere is living alone, it will be harder for you to know how heis doing, Dr. Tobin says. "The hardest part may be getting your Dad to open up aboutt practical andemotional issues." Dr. Tobin advises: "Go slow and Approach one issue ata time. Fathers may want to appear asif they're always in control, even when thinges have begun to slip.
Let your Dad know that you are theree to help without getting in his In order to assesshow he's doing livingg on his own, here is a checklist of issuew for you to explore with him. if there are problems, you can addressa them, and find your fathet the help he'll need to stay independent." "The most important indicatorse for wellness in aging are staying physically activs and staying connected to others or to a Does your Dad appear to be slowingdown ? Is he less mobile? Is he exercising, interactint with his neighbors, or participating in senior-activith programs? We tend to look away from physical changes that are importanft in supporting our Dads.
" "When you visigt your father at his home, look around and get a quick readingg on whether he could use help with home repairas or housecleaning. Remember to thini about preventing falls, which causwe serious problems as yourDad ages."" "Is your father eating properly? What's in his refrigerator?" "Is your Dad'sz strength or mobility reduced in any way? Would he benefir from, or even enjoy using, any adaptive devices from low tech to such as kitchen utensils or tools with bigger or a webcam or an e-mail devicwe for seniors?" "Driving may be one of the most difficult issues to discuss.
Men almost always resist the need to stop Your Dad's driving skills need to be re-assesserd in light of vision, responsiveness, and night vision. If his drivingt is restricted, be willing to compromise -- maybe driving only in the daytime or in familiar You can also help in settingh him up with alternativetransportatioj services." "If your Dad has not discussedx family finances with you before, be awarr that finances can be one of the most personao parts of family dynamics. You can star t by finding out ifyour Dad's personal finances are in orderr -- bills, rent, mortgage, credit taxes, etc. Does he have enough mone for extras?
If his budget is you can try to find free servicesw inhis community. If possible, you can also offeer to pay for services such as homehealtb aides, home repairs, cleaning transportation, and entertainment." "Often an individualized family plan goes a long way to show your Dad that the entiree family is mobilized around giving him the gift he really wants for Father's Day -- independence and support, " Dr. Tobin says. Family care managers, like Care Supportg of America, can help, particularly if you're in a distanft city.
They can professionally organize a problem list and assess any pressing includinghome safety, locatingy credible home services, understandingh the basic finances of wellness in and how best for familieds to support their father's independence. About Dr. , MD, is Founder and CEO of a national family care manager He is an adjunct assistant professor ofpsychiatry (healt h psychology) at Dartmouth Medical Schoool and the author of books and articles on eldercarw issues and positive solutionw to family caregiving problems.
Care Supportg of America ( ) is an independent family care managerd service that helps identify and solvew family caregiving problems to provide trustef guidance as yourparenta age. The service begins with a personal family care manager onthe phone, working with a locaol nurse, to locate and mobilize trusted home care resourcees in the parent's community; help you understand their doctor' treatment plans and information; help insure that parents remaih independent in their home; and answer questions about long-term insurance, and basic finances. Care Supportg of America has provided family care managed services in32 states. If you woulr like to speak with Dr.
, pleaser contact , , or of at 212-588-8788 or . Availables Topic Expert(s): For information on the listed expert, clickl appropriate link. , MD
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